me, unplugged

okay, i have about 20 minutes to blog this before i have to head out to the pub.  mostly because i know i’ll be getting back after midnight, and thus not qualify for today’s post.

today, i’m going to tell a story about The Day I Sold My Bed Frame.  i know, it sounds weird, and not very interesting.  but in fact, i’m going over the details in my head, and i’m still a bit squidgy thinking about it.  moving on….

earlier this year, i had finally visited the new ikea in cincinnati, and after getting what i needed (some bedside tables), and possibly $80 or so spent on other things, like lamps, duvet covers, and bowls, i returned home with my purchases.  upon discovering that bedside tables were too low, i took my bed off of the frame and put it directly on the floor.  i rather like having a lower bed anyway, and the frame didn’t really match the rest of my stuff.

so i decided to sell the bed frame on craigslist.  now, i don’t know if any of you have ever sold anything on craigslist or not, but if you post something, you’ll end up with about 100 responses within the first day asking if you’ve already sold the (whatever it is you were selling), and if not, when can they come and pick it up?   being the fair person that i am, i offered it to the first responder, even though there were people afterwards that could come and pick it up immediately.  but then the first responder didn’t get back to me, so i ended up going down the list until i could find someone to take it.

i can’t remember the woman’s name that i ended up giving it to (i’ll call her “amy”), but all i remember is that i now have two requirements for things i sell on craigslist:

1. when picking up items purchased on craigslist (especially larger ones), please ensure that the vehicle that you are driving will have ample room to move said purchase.  do not drive up in a minivan where the space can’t fully be utilized because there is a child in a carseat in the back row.
2. please, please, PLEASE make sure that you give yourself plenty of time to pick up said purchase.  do not slot pick-up between picking up one child from daycare and picking up another child from her dancing lesson.  it will only make you rush, and suffer potentially messy consequences.  if you explain nicely that you don’t have a decent timeslot until the weekend, that is fine.  i’ve had the item for quite some time and the world won’t end if i have to wait a day or two longer to get rid of it.

since amy clearly wasn’t following these two rules, i ended up having to rush with her to get this large, heavy, wooden headboard into the back of the minivan.  and it didn’t fit.  she threw her daughter (who was 5-ish) into the front seat, put the back seats down and we wrestled with the headboard until we got it most of the way in (it was wedged pretty tightly in a diagonal fashion in the back of the van).

because amy was running low on time to go pick up her other daughter, she was in “rush” mode, and upon turning to go around to the other side of the fan, she smashed her face against one of the posters on the headboard. i actually heard a low crack, not unlike the sound of a bone breaking.  *shudder*

i hadn’t quite realized what had happened until i looked over, and saw amy bent at the waist with her hands on her knees in the middle of the driveway, with a steady stream of blood coming from her face behind her hair.  all i could think was DEAR GOD SHE BROKE HER FACE AND IT IS ALL MY FAULT.  i’ll be honest, i was completely terrified of seeing exactly what had happened to her face.  her daughter was freaking out in the front seat, half-crying at all the blood on the ground.  i kept telling her that her mommy was okay (because she wasn’t passed out, and she was still standing), but i was really shaken up too, so i probably didn’t sound too convincing.

i went and got her some paper towels, and after standing for a good minute like that, she straightened up and…it didn’t look too bad, actually.  no major dents in her face, although i think part of some cartilage in her nose broke skin, which, okay, maybe it didn’t look bad, but she should probably have gone to the hospital.

but, being supermom that she was (and it seems most working moms are these days), she held a huge wad of paper towels to her nose, we finished cramming the headboard into the minivan, and she jetted off to go pick up her other daughter.  i should say that the whole time she was bleeding profusely from her nose, her daughter was FREAKING OUT that she had to sit in the front seat, most likely because her parents told her she couldn’t until she was a certain age due to safety concerns.  she kept screaming “NO, MOMMY, NO!  I DON’T WANT TO DIE!!!”  oh. my. god.  i swear, i really wanted to reach over, shove my face into hers, tell her that she’d be fine, and her mommy had other things to concern herself with than comforting an irrational 5-year old.  grr.  if i ever have kids, i really hope they aren’t the whiny type.  dear god, i felt like bashing my own face into concrete after having to listen to that kid.

but i digress.

later i heard from amy, who apologized for the incident (why? i’m not sure. it was clearly an accident, and she was the one who smashed her face, not me). she also told me that her nose wasn’t broken, and it was just some bruising, but it was okay. whew.

so, yeah.  i’m going to be late for the pub now, but oh well.  that’s my story, and i’m sticking to it.