me, unplugged

well, technically, it’s not the new year just yet, but it’s only two days away, so i took literary license in using that in my title.

as far as my job is concerned, i’m working “part-time” as an assistant for my FBIL (future brother-in-law, for those not paying attention). most of my job is administrative, but i’ll also be working on some other business prospects, which will hopefully pan out in the very near future, since i have bills to pay. and, well, i’d like to avoid broken kneecaps if at all possible. so instead of working on those business prospects, i’m blogging. excellent.

as far as me and sam, most of our friends/family are already aware that we are not a “we” anymore. actually, about halfway through my time in scotland, we mutually decided that we aren’t exactly relationship material. it was one of those situations where you really wish that it would have worked out, but in reality, we’re just a bit too different to make it work long-term. to be completely honest, it was because of our differences that i wasn’t entirely sure that it would work before i went, but if i hadn’t gone, i (and perhaps sam as well) would have always wondered “what if?” so we gave it a chance, and now we know. we’re simply two people who are better off as friends than in a relationship. and i stayed for the duration of my trip because it wasn’t like we split up on bad terms by any means, and i have no regrets about having gone. we are still friends and probably always will be, and in addition, i made quite a few more friends while i was there.

so, now i am single again. (note: NOT an invitation.)

i do feel a bit strange though, because right now, life seems so unfamiliar and somewhat uncomfortable to me. i’m not working in a traditional job at all, because i’m working from home (as does FBIL), and i’m paid on commission so my paychecks aren’t exactly steady, i’m single but i’m not really looking (as i usually am when i’m single), and i’m living on the west side of town with FBIL and his dog. which is about as unfamiliar as it gets for me, being an eastsider used to living either alone or with another female and cats.

i think that a good portion of that is because i’m living in someone else’s house, and while FBIL is about as nice and accomodating as they come (as he’s told me several times i can stay as long as i need to, and in fact is better that i stay as it’s just easier, work-wise), i still feel a bit…cramped, i guess would be the word i’m looking for. or perhaps “in limbo” would be more accurate. no matter where i’m living, i always want to put down roots if i think i’m going to be there for an extended period of time. i know i’ll be living here for at least another couple of months (most likely longer), but i know i won’t be here for a significant amount of time, so i’m hesitant to really settle in, as it were.

every aspect of my life feels so up in the air right now. i just wish i knew when it would come back to the ground.