me, unplugged

for some reason, i really enjoy making cartoon characters of myself. and for some other reason, i always try to get them to look as much like me as possible. i mean, really? what’s the point? i’m sure that some people might think i look cartoonish, but an illustrated drawing will never really look like ME, per se.  anyway, here’s my latest go at it (thanks to dave2 for clueing me into yet another way to make myself look like an illustration):

obviously, i don’t normally dress in superhero tights and carry a hanso blade. that’s only for special occasions, like when i’m exacting revenge on student loan companies for raising my interest rates. (oh, and here‘s where to go if you want to join in the fun!)

also, i just applied for the best job in the world. and after submitting my video and thinking i might have a shot? i’ve checked out some of the other videos and, um…let’s just say i’ll be really shocked and surprised if i get shortlisted for the job. but hey, i had to try, right? you can’t win the lottery if you don’t play. oh wait, i don’t play the lottery….

and on that note, i’m off to hit the sack.

p.s. how sad is it that i JUST NOW NOTICED that the time on my blog is still set for UK time?  bleh.

auds over at barking mad is running a contest, and all i have to do is post my top 5-10 favorite posts ever in order to enter to win a $250 target gift certificate! so, because it’s so simple i’d be stupid NOT to do it, here are some of my favorite posts, in no particular order:

• the time of my life (revelations i made during my trip to australia in 2000) 
• not even as cool as bridget jones (i like this one more for the memories it evokes than my lackluster writing skills…)
• the death of hope 
• i’m just sayin’ (from my first impressions of the UK)
• rant (sort of) on being a nerd
• i’m the LUCKIEST….girl in the woorrrrlllllld
• mmm…wine….
• it shouldn’t be called sci-fi, it should be called sci-faaaa!
• bullet-points: the glasgow edition

i had the strangest dream last night that, as a gift, i was given a PC version of the iPhone.  and, wonder of wonders! it had microsoft office on it! because you just never know when you’re going to need to whip up a quick spreadsheet.

and also because i needed to be able to figure out exactly whose TV shows, between FBIL’s, my sister’s and mine, were conflicting with other TV shows, and which shows were better (which i think we all know were mine, yes?).

oh, and also, because i reallyreallyreally love excel, and probably a bit more than any sane person would love a computer program. because it makes pretty rows and columns! and everything is just so!

man, if only nielsen were reading my blog. (or, perhaps, a company who needs the prettiest spreadsheet maker in the midwest region.)

i generally admire certain activist groups’ ingenuity at trying to get others see their point of view. but this time? it just gave me a good belly laugh that i so desperately needed.  thanks, PETA.

(ok, i might have laughed because it’s frickin’ stephen colbert. who is all sorts of funny and awesome.)

check out the video below, and skip ahead to 1:28.

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EDIT: okay apparently the embed code on the website isn’t working (bad, colbertnation, BAD), and i’m not quite the person you should call to have it fixed. so click on this link instead, and then go to 1:28.

i’ve been back in the states for over a month now, and i’m STILL typing SHIFT+F2 for quotation marks. grr.

your silly-yet-bitter jokes about how conservatives are all “manly-men” who drink bud, eat meat and work while liberals (or: “girlie-men” according to you) all sit back on their haunches sipping white wine spritzers and vegetarian meals makes me laugh. now that your party is no longer running this country (into the ground), your true colors are showing.

next up – a play-by-play of dubya’s fuck-off farewell speech!

tonight, kate, sarah and i headed to terry’s turf club for our monthly get-together. (we’ve found that we generally have a habit of not keeping in touch with as busy as our lives are lately, so every month or so we start an email chain and take turns on deciding where we’re going to eat for dinner, and just hang out and talk and catch up on families, friends, and whatnot.)

both kate and i have been hearing some great things about this place and wanted to check it out and see if it was as good as all the raves. and it definitely was.  the menu there is pretty small, and sort of reminds me of chipotle. you choose what “meat” you want: burger, chicken, portobello mushroom, lobster tail (??), etc., and then it comes with all of the typical accoutrements: lettuce, tomatoes, onions, pickles, banana peppers.  and then? if you want, you can choose one of their specialty sauces and all of them really looked great.

i ordered the grilled chicken with a ginger blackberry sauce (although i briefly considered the roasted red pepper and goat cheese sauce), kate ordered a burger with mango curry sauce, and sarah ordered grilled chicken with a sauce that i’m failing to remember right now.  we gave all of the sandwiches rave reviews, and there was much rejoicing. (yaayyyy.) we decided to share one order of fries with it, but between three of us, we still didn’t eat them all.

side note on the fries: i prefer my fries a bit on the “undercooked” side, golden brown but slightly squishy with just the right amount of salt. terry’s fries were obviously homemade, which was cool in and of itself, but they were way overcooked for my liking and a very dark brown color…although they did get the salt right.  perhaps while steve jobs is working on his iToast, he can also work on an iFry too. then you could listen to a 3-minute song (because if you’ve ever worked at mcdonald’s, you know that perfect fries result from only 3 minutes of frying time), such as de novo dahl’s “conquest at midnight” or ashley macisaac’s “rusty D-con-STRUCK-tion” and when the song finishes, you would know that your fries are perfectly cooked!  now if i can just get blogography to whip up a quick image of said product, i’d be in business!

but i digress.

after ordering, and while we were deep in conversation about family problems, couples breaking up, or other goings-on, we heard a loud shouting over by the counter. an apparently inebriated woman was standing at the counter and yelling at terry very loudly, and with much cursing. all i heard was something about “give me back my fucking purse” and “fuckfuck you fucking fuck” or something. after all noise in the restaurant (which is pretty small) died completely, everyone was listening in to her cursing a blue streak. this went on for a few minutes, and then apparently terry got tired of listening to her, because without a word, he bodily picked her up around her waist, and carried her across the room and out the door.  obviously she was upset about something, but i’ll be damned if i know what that is. and more amusing about the entire scenario is that while she was at the counter she was cursing and making wild gestures, but when terry picked her up and carried her across the room, she didn’t say a word, and wasn’t kicking and thrashing like you’d have thought. (of course, after she got outside and was set down, she resumed cursing and kicking and fighting with whomever she was fighting with). i had no idea terry’s turf club was a dinner theatre! it certainly added an element of excitement to our meal.

we ended up staying later than we should have…yes, we were the trio of girls sitting at the table by the door chatting away for two and a half hours while a large group of people stood waiting for a table at the tiny restaurant. but in our defense, this is our first monthly get-together in about 6 months, since i’ve been in scotland from august to december of last year.  we had a lot to discuss, okay?

ahem.

after dinner, kate and i stopped off at udf so i could pick up some smokes and so kate could get some milk for jenn to drink with her brownies. after my transaction, i was waiting for kate, who proceeded to drop a penny on the floor. as it was still spinning on the ground, i bent over to pick it up, when the guy behind us in line piped up and said “it’s mine!” “huh?” “it was a joke. huh-huh-huh.”  funny? not even close. i just snorted/laughed and basically ignored him. he was wearing a sun visor for god’s sake. in the middle of winter. AT 9 O’CLOCK AT NIGHT. apparently, on some planet, he’s supposed to be “cool.” he reminded me of something i read just today, actually:

Manly men are confident men. People are attracted to men who project confidence. Sadly, many men these days lack any confidence at all. Some mope around with their head down, wallowing in self pity. Others confuse manly confidence with boyish cockiness. These men have confused confidence with being a douchebag.

(‘nother side note: everything i’ve read so far on “the art of manliness” blog, i love. he’s gotta be doing something right…in the one year he’s had the site, he’s gotten over 26,000 subscribers. although they’re probably all women who read the blog and wish they could get their boyfriends and husbands to read it and take note.)

hey stef, judgmental much? abso-fucking-lutely. i reserve my right to be judgmental of people who make pitiable jokes at strangers and wear weather-inappropriate clothing. so there.

mmkay, that about sums up my evening. bed calls. over and out.

*”chotch” is the nickname kate came up with to describe the type of guy we ran into tonight. i think it’s as good a term as any, and perhaps better, so i’m stealing it.

i just won a book from kristabella! okay. i’m well aware that it’s a book about dating. and that a book about this particular subject completely contradicts what i said in my previous post. but let’s gloss over that for a moment, shall we? I WON SOMETHING, PEOPLE. seriously. first, i win CDs from san diego momma (which i received – thank you if you’re reading!), and now a book from kristabella. 

hell has officially frozen over.  (cincinnati will be following suit on december 30, 2028.)

well, technically, it’s not the new year just yet, but it’s only two days away, so i took literary license in using that in my title.

as far as my job is concerned, i’m working “part-time” as an assistant for my FBIL (future brother-in-law, for those not paying attention). most of my job is administrative, but i’ll also be working on some other business prospects, which will hopefully pan out in the very near future, since i have bills to pay. and, well, i’d like to avoid broken kneecaps if at all possible. so instead of working on those business prospects, i’m blogging. excellent.

as far as me and sam, most of our friends/family are already aware that we are not a “we” anymore. actually, about halfway through my time in scotland, we mutually decided that we aren’t exactly relationship material. it was one of those situations where you really wish that it would have worked out, but in reality, we’re just a bit too different to make it work long-term. to be completely honest, it was because of our differences that i wasn’t entirely sure that it would work before i went, but if i hadn’t gone, i (and perhaps sam as well) would have always wondered “what if?” so we gave it a chance, and now we know. we’re simply two people who are better off as friends than in a relationship. and i stayed for the duration of my trip because it wasn’t like we split up on bad terms by any means, and i have no regrets about having gone. we are still friends and probably always will be, and in addition, i made quite a few more friends while i was there.

so, now i am single again. (note: NOT an invitation.)

i do feel a bit strange though, because right now, life seems so unfamiliar and somewhat uncomfortable to me. i’m not working in a traditional job at all, because i’m working from home (as does FBIL), and i’m paid on commission so my paychecks aren’t exactly steady, i’m single but i’m not really looking (as i usually am when i’m single), and i’m living on the west side of town with FBIL and his dog. which is about as unfamiliar as it gets for me, being an eastsider used to living either alone or with another female and cats.

i think that a good portion of that is because i’m living in someone else’s house, and while FBIL is about as nice and accomodating as they come (as he’s told me several times i can stay as long as i need to, and in fact is better that i stay as it’s just easier, work-wise), i still feel a bit…cramped, i guess would be the word i’m looking for. or perhaps “in limbo” would be more accurate. no matter where i’m living, i always want to put down roots if i think i’m going to be there for an extended period of time. i know i’ll be living here for at least another couple of months (most likely longer), but i know i won’t be here for a significant amount of time, so i’m hesitant to really settle in, as it were.

every aspect of my life feels so up in the air right now. i just wish i knew when it would come back to the ground.