promptuesday: pieces of me.
March 31st, 2009 § 6 Comments
because i haven’t done one in awhile, and also because i need to post something to stay writing, and also because this week’s promptuesday is so interesting, i’ve decided to take it on:
So, this week, let’s look in our purses and billfolds, poppets. Pull something out. Tell a story about that something. Where did it come from? Why do you carry it? What does it mean to you, if anything? (And just so you know, tampons (unsullied) totally count.)
Also, for the record, you can make something up about the item in your purse or wallet. In, fact, we encourage avoidance of reality here at PROMPTuesday.
and, luckily, i did NOT pull out a tampon. in fact, i pulled out the biggest item in my purse right now…paperwork for a pee test.
this morning, i was offered a job with the international company i mentioned in my previous post (my third job offer – yay me!), and i accepted their offer conditional on the fact that i pass the drug test and background check (with which i should have no problem). even though it pays the least of the three jobs initially, it pays the most after 90 days and offers the most opportunities for growth and experience. in addition, the benefits are great (401k is 150% on 6%!), and the woman that i interviewed with in the second interview would be my manager, and she seemed like someone that i would really enjoy working with/for.
at any rate, the paperwork in my purse signifies well…having to pee in a cup. yey. but it also signifies a new job, a new start, and a step on the path that i want to go in my career, meaning: a position at a large international company with job growth potential and the opportunity to travel and learn about life and work in other cultures.
while part of me really wants to hate corporate america, i am equally fascinated by it. i read magazines, blogs, the business section of newspapers, and books on globalization and the large role that major companies play in that process. i find the prospect of being involved in that process incredibly exciting.
here’s to new beginnings. 
decisions, decisions.
March 27th, 2009 § 4 Comments
i’m in kansas city right now, and i just got done with my interview at the law firm i’m considering, and i’m 90% sure that they’re going to offer me the job (and in fact, even joked around about me staying in town and starting on monday). i think it’s probably going to be the best work atmosphere of the three, and probably the job that i will enjoy the most. while i was on my way to the interview, i got a call from a company in cincinnati that i interviewed with last week, offering me a position. i haven’t called them back yet because i’m not sure what to say.
on top of all of this, i have a second interview at another (international) company in cincinnati (no, not p&g), and that job looks promising as well. i’d have more of a learning curve at the international company, but it’s more in line with what i want to eventually do as well.
i have some tough decisions to make. i mean, i’m incredibly lucky – there are a lot of unemployed people out there who are having a difficult time finding a job right now. but it doesn’t mean it’s making the decision any easier.
bleh.
where the wild things are!
March 25th, 2009 § Leave a Comment
woohoo! and they even used an Arcade Fire song in the trailer!
more blathering.
March 22nd, 2009 § Leave a Comment
Stolen from Bellaventa…
A – Age: 31
B – Bed size: queen (and yes, if you must know, i am)
C – Chore You Hate: dusting. i’m okay with just about anything else.
D – Dad’s Name: joe cool.
E – Essential Start Your Day Item: shoes? *shrug* my days start differently since i’ve been gainfully unemployed since august of last year.
F – Favorite Actor: way too many, i’m not even bothering with this question.
G – Gold or Silver: silver
H – Height: 5’5″
I – Instrument (s) you play: piano (10 years of lessons), guitar (not so great, self-taught)
J – Job Title: ha!
K – Kid(s): oh, HAY-ULL no.
L – Like: mike? (?)
M – Mom’s Name: faye.
N – Nickname: stef, spaz the tampon girl
O – Overnight Hospital Stay Other Than Birth: none.
P – Pet Peeve: people who don’t use their turn signals. i could write a whole blog post on this one. oh wait! i already did!
Q – Quote that you like: “Everyone has to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer, and its your round.” – JimmyGulp
R – Righty or Lefty: righty (or “superior”) 
i only say that because my lil’ sis is a southpaw.
S – Siblings: two.
T – Time You Wake Up: heh…when would YOU wake up if you didn’t have a job?
U – Useful tool: politicians.
V – Vegetable that you dislike: mushrooms. blech.
W – Ways you run late: huh??? like…”my car breaking down”? or “frantically calling my supervisor”? i don’t get this.
X – X-rays You’ve Had: knees, nose (i think), dental stuffs, etc. borrrinnngggg.
Y – Yummy Foods You Make: tons. i’m learning to cook, and i’m also learning that i’m not too shabby when i just make shit up on the fly.
Z – Zodiac: taurus. because WE JUST FUCKING RULE. you know who you are. am i right, or am i right?
being american.
March 22nd, 2009 § 2 Comments
after spending 4 months in scotland last year, and after getting into many different conversations with scots about american politics and the iraq war, i came to the startling realization that i felt like i finally had met my match when it came to american politics. by this, i mean that i finally was able to meet a group of people that knew a lot about what was going on my country, and could have a (more than) halfways intelligent discussion about it. how strange, and so depressing, that i had to go to ANOTHER COUNTRY in order for this to happen.
sad, but true: i generally “turn off” when it comes to the news, but this is mostly in part because of the fact that our news is biased. it doesn’t matter which way it’s biased, it’s still biased. and while fox news (or “faux news” as i’ve taken to calling them) is laughably conservative in nature (i’m looking at you, mr. murdoch), msnbc tends to be more liberal, but that doesn’t mean it’s not biased. news outlets are privately owned by wealthy individuals who are most likely republican, seeing as they want to preserve their wealth by having a much smaller government who isn’t looking over their shoulders at all of their assets. the question then becomes: who do you trust?
right now, i’m reading a book called “no end in sight,” and while i’m only 63 pages (of 575) into the book, i’ve already realized that i knew absolutely NOTHING about what has been going on in iraq, and exactly how enormous of an influence american politics has played in the current status of the nation.
it’s a very difficult book to read, and while at times, the content is a bit “dry” for lack of a better word, it’s also difficult in the sense that while reading it, sometimes i want to throw the book across the room and punch a wall, or a person (donald rumsfeld or dick cheney, in particular). i’m pissed off that the bush administration was the representative of our country for so long, and that they ran our country into the ground (economically speaking), created a domino effect with other countries, and lost favor with many of them in the process. the only solace i have as a foreign american traveling to other countries is that i can proudly state that i never voted for bush, which is pretty slight, given the vast atrocities that the bush administration incurred over the course of 8 years.
the author of “no end in sight,” (charles ferguson) while leaning a bit to the left, wanted to create a factual account of the occurrences during the iraq war, and it ended up turning into an exposé, of sorts. while many advisors on military occupation and post-war experts offered their opinions on how the department of defense could best handle the war, rumsfeld and cheney completely disregarded their opinions and decided that what they already determined as the best course of action was…the best course of action. because of course, they were elected to office, and their opinion was gold, right? let’s not discuss the fact that neither of them had seen the front lines of battle, and that the vice president never served due to five (count ‘em, FIVE) draft deferments during the vietnam war. yet men in the State Department (including Republican Colin Powell) who had decades of military experience, and even men who had incredibly thorough knowledge of iraq, offered their expertise on how to handle the war, and were essentially blown off, because, well, the decision had already been made. (i think this is one of the main reasons why colin powell eventually resigned. i wouldn’t want to be associated with the subsequent fuck-up of the iraq war, either.)
…..
i’ve spent a good portion of my life not paying attention to these issues, and man, i’ll tell ya, it’s a much easier and happier life. but i’ve decided that educating myself on what’s going on in america is worth the unrest, anger and frustration, because at least i KNOW. i’m not just shooting off at the hip and spouting political platitudes about how great my political party is. i’m doing the research, talking to people – both republican and democrat – and reading a LOT.
i know that my blog has become increasingly left-leaning by nature, and i apologize to those of my readers who either lean to the right (mostly my family), or those who don’t give a shit either way. i don’t want to marginalize my readers by being so, but at the same time, i can’t help but be LIVID that people that the majority of us entrusted our nation to, were so completely short-sighted and close-minded. so many lives have been needlessly lost as a result of these things, and i feel helpless to do anything about it. the only way for me to get these things off of my chest is for me to write about it. getting into conversations about politics or religion with my family is a completely futile effort, and the majority of people who live in this city just can’t see where i’m coming from. to say that i’m frustrated would be an understatement.
so, i gracefully bow out from this blog entry, knowing that this will likely NOT be the last entry that i post on politics OR religion, and hope that you don’t all unsubscribe, or stop reading, or whatever (if you haven’t already).
…..
is it sad that i’m drunk after a martini and 3 glasses of scotch and i’m blogging about politics?
*hic*
dreams.
March 20th, 2009 § 3 Comments
last night, after going out drinking with some friends, i came home to sleep fitfully whilst having very vivid dreams of crystal clear water, of swimming in it, and mostly, drinking it…two whole pitchers of it (in my dream), to be exact. then i woke up and felt like an IV wouldn’t have been enough to rehydrate me. stoopid alcohol.
after waking up and downing two glasses of water, i went back to sleep, only to have nightmares about tornadoes. this is probably because i have a job interview in kansas city, missouri next week, and if i were to get it, i would likely end up living in kansas. apparently, my mind is trying to tell me that if i move to kansas, it’s entirely possible that i’ll end up getting sucked into a giant whirlwind and landing on some poor lady while little people with weird shoes dance circles around me.
representin’, yo.
March 13th, 2009 § Leave a Comment
okay, so even though nick lachey is all ‘gone hollywood’ on our cincinnati asses, he’s still got a bit of hometown pride. he’s putting up some time and money to put together “taking the stage,” a new reality show on MTV about SCPA (school for creative and performing arts) in downtown cincinnati. of course, nick is an SCPA grad himself, but still.
the coolest thing though? mia carruthers, the singer-songwriter in this trailer, is/was one of my friend’s music students (of course, not so much anymore now that mtv took over her life), and she played at awakenings when i worked there; she’s incredibly talented, friendly, and pretty mature for a high schooler, all told. and obviously, she’s adorable. this may be the only reality tv show that i end up watching throughout the season. go cincinnati! woo!
ouch.
March 12th, 2009 § Leave a Comment
Open Letter to the Republican Traitors (From a Former Republican)
You Republicans are the arsonists who burned down our national home. You combined the failed ideologies of the Religious Right, so-called free market deregulation and the Neoconservative love of war to light a fire that has consumed America. Now you have the nerve to criticize the “architect” America just hired — President Obama — to rebuild from the ashes. You do nothing constructive, just try to hinder the one person willing and able to fix the mess you created.
I used to be one of you. As recently as 2000 I worked to get Senator McCain elected in that year’s primary. (McCain and Gen. Tommy Franks wrote glowing endorsements regarding my book about military service, AWOL.). I have a file of handwritten thank you notes from Presidents Ford, Reagan, Bush I and II. In the 1970s and early 80s I hung out with Jack Kemp and bought into his “supply side” myth and even wrote a book he endorsed pushing his ideas.) There’s more, but take it from me; my parents (evangelical leaders Francis and Edith Schaeffer) and I were about as tight with — and useful to — the Republican Party as anyone. We played a big part creating the Religious Right.
In the mid 1980s I left the Religious Right, after I realized just how very anti-American they are, (the theme I explore in my book Crazy For God). They wanted America to fail in order to prove they were right about America’s “moral decline.” Soon after McCain lost in 2000 I re-registered as an independent in disgust with W. Bush. But I still respected many Republicans. Not today.
How can anyone who loves our country support the Republicans now? Barry Goldwater, William F. Buckley and Ronald Reagan defined the modern conservatism that used to be what the Republican Party I belonged to was about. Today no actual conservative can be a Republican. Reagan would despise today’s wholly negative Republican Party. And can you picture the gentlemanly and always polite Ronald Reagan, endorsing a radio hate-jock slob who crudely mocked a man with Parkinson’s and who now says he wants an American president to fail?!
With people like Limbaugh as the loudmouth image of the Republican Party — you need no enemies. But something far more serious has happened than an image problem: the Republican Party has become the party of obstruction at just the time when all Americans should be pulling together for the good of our country. Instead, Republicans are today’s fifth column sabotaging American renewal.
President Obama has been in office barely 45 days and the Republican Party has the nerve to blame him for the economic and military cataclysm he inherited. I say economic and military cataclysm because without the needless war in Iraq you all backed we would not be in the economic mess we’re in today. If that money had been spent here at home on renovating our infrastructure, taking us toward a green economy, putting our health-care system in order we’d be a very different situation.
As the father of a Marine who served in George W. Bush’s misbegotten wars let me say this: if President Obama’s strategy to repair our economy, infrastructure and healthcare fails that will put our troops at far greater risk because the world will become a far more dangerous place. So for all you flag-waving Republicans who are trying to undermine the President at home — if you succeed more of our troops will be killed abroad.
When your new leader Rush Limbaugh calls for President Obama to fail he’s calling for more flag-draped coffins. Limbaugh is the new “Hanoi Jane.”
For the party that created our crises of misbegotten war, mismanaged economy, the lack of regulation of our banking industry, handing our country to rich crooks… to obstruct the one person who is trying to repair the damage is obscene.
Just imagine where America would be today if the 14 to 20 million voters — “the rube base” who slavishly follow the likes of Limbaugh — had not voted as a block year after year thus empowering the Republican fiasco. We would have a regulated banking industry and would have avoided our current financial crisis; some 4000 of our killed military men and women would be alive; over to 35,000 wounded Americans would be whole; we would have been leaders in the environmental movement; we would be in the middle of a green technology boom fueling a huge expansion of our economy and stopping our dependence on foreign oil, and our health-care system would be reformed.
After Obama was elected, you Republican leaders had a unique last chance to send a patriotic message of unity to the world — and to all Americans. You could have backed our president’s economic recovery plan. Since we all know that half of our problem is one of lost confidence and perception, nothing would have done more to calm the markets and project resolve and confidence than if you had been big enough to take Obama’s offered hand and had work with him — even if you disagreed ideologically. You had the chance to put our country first. You utterly failed to rise to the occasion.
The worsening economic situation is your fault and your fault alone. The Republicans created this mess through 8 years of backing the worst president in our history and now, because you put partisan ideology ahead of the good of our country, you have blown your last chance to redeem yourselves. You deserve the banishment to the political wilderness that awaits all traitors.
a shadow of doubt.
March 11th, 2009 § 4 Comments
the other day, my friend and i got into a discussion about prayer, and, as she’s catholic, we got onto the topic of praying to mary. now, being what i like to call a “recovering catholic,” i was fully aware that those that follow catholicism pray to mary and the saints, along with the holy trifecta. however, i asked her why she didn’t just pray to god and jesus, as it seemed to make sense that you’d just pray right to the source, and not go to their underlings to get prayers answered. and then i remembered.
“oh yeah, that’s right, catholics believe that mary was sinless like jesus, right?” to which she replied that yes, mary was “conceived without sin.”
in the grand scheme of organized religion, this small difference between catholicism and other sects of christianity probably isn’t a huge deal. but it certainly did get me thinking. my initial thought after she told me this, borne of years of church-going and sunday school, was how it just seemed silly to believe that mary was sinless when it was clear she was human, and no human being who has ever lived was, or is, or will be, perfect, except for jesus (but only because he was ALL human and ALL god) (yeah, i can’t wrap my head around it either).
a brief history of my faith
after years and years of going to church, struggling with my faith, praying, talking to those who were “in the know,” studying the bible, and rededicating my life to christ countless times, i realized that doing all of those things while never quite being able to reconcile my own feelings about it made me feel like a complete fraud. it was a personal decision, see. my mind has always thought in logical, rational terms, and religion and faith don’t exactly mesh with rationality so well. faith is very emotional…it’s about having a relationship with someone that you can’t see, touch or hear. the only “responses” that you get from this being are almost completely subjective, and it’s entirely up to you to decipher how events that occur might be an answer to your prayers. or a non-answer, as the case may be.
when my ex-husband and i were going through a really difficult time, i prayed (a LOT) for us to be able to communicate clearly with each other, for us to be able to work things out, and to try to remember why we had fallen in love in the first place. so what, then, was i supposed to learn by the fact that, after months of marital counseling and prayer, we ended up getting divorced anyway? when i posed this question to some of my fellow believers, i got a number of different responses. some said that i should be learning that perhaps we weren’t meant to be married in the first place (in which case i should probably also learn that i had poor judgment in relationships…which may be true). some said that i should take home the lesson that god doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way that we think he should (in which case, i say…what’s the point of prayer again?).
this is, of course, only one situation. there are countless others where i would pray for something and receive an entirely different “answer” to my prayers. and of course, there are times when i would pray for something and i would get the result i was praying for. doesn’t that seem just a bit…random to you?
in the end, i felt like praying was an entirely fruitless exercise in what was supposed to be a way to feel closer to god, which is something that i never felt after praying. it really felt like something that i needed to check off my list every day, along with reading the bible, in order to be a Good Christian. because that’s what Good Christians do, right?
because all prayer was doing for me was leaving me completely frustrated, depressed and feeling like i was only “living the christian life” for family and friends, i stopped praying so much. and i stopped reading the bible. and eventually i stopped going to church. and i honestly can’t say that i feel any more or less spiritual than i did all those years as an active believer.
(whoa…waaaaaaayyyy off my original point here. sorry.)
to get back to my point, my friend believes that mary was sinless, and my former belief system tells me that she was not. who is to say which one of us is right or wrong? we can’t both be right, so one of us must be wrong. and what kind of eternal consequences (if any) are there to pay for being wrong about that?
let’s take this one step further. some people believe that abortion is wrong. in most circumstances, i am one of those people. but i also believe that not doing everything within our power to stop it from being necessary is also grievously wrong. there are many ways in which i believe we can circumvent the need for something like abortion, but until we’ve addressed the underlying issues (ridding ourselves of this ridiculous abstinence-only sex education and implementing comprehensive sex ed, for one), then abortion is, and will continue to be, a necessary evil.
but whose belief system is right? is my friend’s belief system right? was mary sinless? does being on a birth control pill constitute murder? is capital punishment okay?
what about other religions? the majority of the world (along with myself) would say that it’s wrong to hijack planes and fly them into buildings, killing thousands, but what about the countless natives who rebelled, and were killed by, colonialists who tried to make them conform to their belief system? were the colonialists right to do so in the name of god? and wasn’t hitler a christian, believing that what he was doing was right?
i think that basic moral code dictates that murder is wrong, in any fashion. but i’ve heard many people of faith say that war is a “necessary evil,” and that capital punishment is our answer to “an eye for an eye.” but if someone is TRULY pro-life, shouldn’t they be pro-all life, and not just unborn babies?
the biggest problem that i think that i have today is the large amount of inconsistency that i see in organized religion and those who believe. many christians i know (if not all of them) pick and choose portions of the bible that they wish to believe as it suits their religious interests. in parts of the old testament, god states that homosexuality is wrong, but there are also parts where he states that if a woman’s husband dies, her brother-in-law is required to marry her. does anyone carry out this edict anymore?
to say that i’ve become jaded and cynical about organized religion or monotheism is an understatement. i’m still trying to sort out what this means for me in a spiritual manner, and if i simply need to set aside religious leanings and try to be as good and kind of a person as i can to myself and others. for now, that is all i have, and until i feel like there is more consistency and meaning in christianity, it is what i will continue to believe.
noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
February 28th, 2009 § Leave a Comment
churchill’s in carew tower is closing on march 3rd! why doesn’t the entire frickin’ city just close up shop then!? booooo!!!!!
*sniff*
